


I am so sorry...

by OceansGay



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Lexa & Anya we deserved, Listen this is Dichen's fault, Past Relationship(s), Sad Anya, Sad Lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 08:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10590102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceansGay/pseuds/OceansGay
Summary: This wasn't suppose to happen..





	

**Author's Note:**

> Listen guys, I have a bunch of feels right now. This is the Commander Cheekbones we deserved..

This wasn’t suppose to happen.. She was suppose to be alive, with her.. Lexa lost her.. Her world shattered when Clarke told her Anya died.. It wasn’t fair…

 

_“I can’t do this anymore, Lex…” Anya was trying so hard not to cry, it was hurting her as much as Lexa was hurting._

_“What do you mean you can’t do what anymore?” Lexa looked at her mentor, trying to figure out what caused her to be upset..  
_

_“You’re different..” Ever since Costia died Lexa’s walls went higher and were thicker, no one could tear them down. It was like a stab to the heart for Anya. She taught her that having emotions was what made you strong and that your choices should be made with your heart, not your head.._

_“What do you mean?” Lexa knew what this was about now, their relationship was on a thin line now, when Costia died Lexa put the finally touches on her walls, believing Titus about love is weakness.. She cut off everyone from her._

_“I’m talking about how you closed off all your damn emotions.. What happened to my little raccoon who was like my daughter..?” She couldn’t hold it back anymore.. The tears finally revealed itself, Anya only showed her emotions around Lexa, Luna, or Lincoln. She finally broke.._

_“Love IS weakness, Anya. I choose everything with my head, my feelings have made me weak..” Lexa could feel her throat dry when she said that, biting her lip she looked Anya straight in the eye, it was too much for Lexa too. But she wouldn’t cry, she refused to. Emotions are weakness._

_“That is such bullshit Lex! I was there when Gustus found the head. I was there to help you back up! I was there when no one else was, I can’t believe you're listening to Titus about this whole thing.. What happened to my baby girl..?!” Anya never yelled at Lexa like this, she saw her flinch a little too. Lexa never meant to hurt her, but she was Heda, she couldn’t afford to be weak._

_“I know you were, I am not a child anymore Anya. You’re not even my mother, I am Heda and I cannot afford to be weak in front of everyone, including you..” Lexa didn’t realize what she just said, her jaw clenched when she looked back at Anya.. Her eyes were wide, jaw hanging open…_

_“I am done, Lexa. I can’t see you like this anymore. I know I’m not your real mother, but I was sure damn better than her drunk ass and Gustus was a better father than your abusive father..” Lexa saw her put her mask back on, Anya lifted herself from the wall and started walking past Lexa, she stopped at the door and turned around._

_“You’re not the only one hurting yourself. You’re hurting EVERYONE around you.. Until you decide to get your head out of your ass, you know where I am..” Lexa jumped when see heard the door slam… What have I done..?_

Her walls finally came down, she let the tears roll down… She was alone.. Her parents, Costia, Anya, and now Gustus were gone… 

“I’m so sorry, Anya.. I didn’t mean to hurt you..” She looked up at the sky, gripping the braid Clarke gave her..  

**Author's Note:**

> It was an idea or rather headcanon that I've always had.. I'm sorry if it seems out of character but it happened.. And I'll update the chat room soon.. Might do another, but idk yet!


End file.
